Since Wolfshield's initial comments in thread 2712 of the War Cry and subsequent private e-mails, I felt it necessary after some careful consideration to address the sphere in general and Wolfshield in particular in a straight forward manner as a player.

First, if I'm going to address you as a player, then I best tell you whom I am. My name is Christopher Waltner. No doubt some of you will recognize this name as it was automatically attached to almost all of my mail while playing the role of Sidhe.

I decided to come forward and talk plainly as a player after realizing that Wolfshield was confusing me, the player, with the roles that I have played and am currently playing. Sidhe was a character. As Sidhe I said that this was merely a performance for the enjoyment of the crowd and couldn't be further from the truth as to who I, Christopher Waltner, really am. Zildjian is also a performance. However, Zildjian is a much nicer fellow than Sidhe was, obviously. Zildjian was a role that I took up as a means of honoring a friend whom was going to boot camp and wanted to continue playing when he returned. I took the role, against my professed opposition babysitting. Within ten days of taking up the role, I destructed my own persona, Sidhe, as protest to what I saw as an ill defined and poorly thought out rule that was going to cost me my hall. Whatever your opinion to my actions or reasoning to my destruction of Sidhe, I only point it out so that we can avoid cries of double clanning. At that point, I closed the book on the role of Sidhe as did many of you from your silence on the War Cry. I now occasionally use his disembodied voice to goad a particular person or another or the sphere in general, but with every post I've expected that if I proved too controversial, Jonathan would simply remove my former account. At the point I retired Sidhe from the sphere, I would have joyfully handed the responsibility of Zildjian over to another, as I wanted nothing more than to put the game behind me. I fully expected to be done with my obligation in December however and carried on.

During the month of November I came upon a startling discovery. Zildjian's reputation and ways of living on the sphere was in fact the reality of what I had failed to do with another role of mine, Yves, back in the first era. Playing the role of Zildjian gave me the chance of being something that I had aspired to and failed at. It has been an enjoyable experience and incredibly ironic too. In December I was given the word that I could do what I wanted with the clan. Retire it, play it, change it, it was mine. Now we come into January and this crossroads.

I will now present to you what I have done with the persona of Zildjian while under my care. I tried to play Zildjian in a fashion that fit with his character, knowing that it was only on loan.

Within the first week of assuming the role, before Sidhe was destructed, Zildjian was offered membership into the BHMA. Needing to flee the approach of Hydra, I accepted peace with the BHMA and asked that we work together for a time to renew the bonds of trust. The Stompers were also discussing their dissolution at the time after the loss of Bac Ho's hall and imminent loss of Sidhe's hall, and I felt that it would be bad form for Zildjian to accept an alliance offer until the Stompers were formally dissolved.

After the self-destruction of Sidhe, I moved Zildjian's hall south at the invite of Righteous in order to avoid Hydra. I immediately ran afoul of Gryphon and an old grudge he bore. Not knowing a thing about the grudge that Gryphon claimed and knowing that he had the forces in the area to destroy my hall, I humbled myself as Zildjian and left myself to Gryphon's mercy. Thankfully, Gryphon relented and spared the hall. Naturally, I felt immensely relieved at having not failed at my charge, as well as glad to know my silver tongue still worked. I then went on to forge good relations with all the southern clans whom I shared the sphere with.

Next, the BHMA asked again about joining them. In order to judge whether or not this was in the best long-term interest for Zildjian I asked a few questions. One of those was: "Who will be the BHMA's next target?" I was told that I could pick between the Immortals and Exodus if I would join them. Not liking either choice either as the persona or the player, I demurred. I knew then that I didn't want Zildjian to be shackled to the BHMA. It was insanely tempting to accept and backstab the first chance I got. The Sidhe persona would have loved to gloat over their smoking halls in the ultimate of betrayals. But this wasn't Sidhe, it was Zildjian and I remembered that. Shortly thereafter, I ran afoul of Mercenary and the BHMA wouldn't lift a finger between a sworn friend and a potential alliance mate to resolve the issue peacefully. Fortunately Mercenary and I looked down each other's barrels and decided to resolve it ourselves. I then knew my instinct about not joining the BHMA was the right decision.

While this was all happening, the Aybabtu and Hydra war was heating up. Another question I asked the BHMA was which side they were going to take. They swore neutrality, claiming friends on both sides. I had been loosing titans to Hydra the entire time I assumed control and hadn't heard a peep from them since before the fall of Aries rock to Yellow Fever. We engaged one another at my 4th defensive line. I had just been told that the clan was now mine. Having made peace or at least having good relations with every clan on the sphere, except Hydra, I decided to try and make peace with them too. I was then going to write up a nice retirement speech and maybe get a few parting laughs in at all the irony I had experienced. Unfortunately, Hydra wouldn't prove their desire for peace by simply backing out of firing range. I had been so initially hopeful for true peace that I jumped the gun and told the ex-Stompers that it was nearly inked and retirement was within sight. (Frazzles at this point realized that his envoy of peace to me after the conquest of Stomperland was errantly mailed to an old address and they assumed we were at war because I never responded.) Nemesis was running multiple Hydra clans at the time and clearly wanted a fight, so we fought, and all my hopes for world peace for Zildjian collapsed there. (As a player: I firmly believe that Eldar could have defeated Aybabtu forces quicker alone by having my guns silent than all of Hydra did trying to take that position from me by force.)

At this point, Aybabtu started sending me their tacs. I received these without asking or doing anything other than resist Hydra for my own clan centric reasons. Naturally, I found this to be amusing. I wondered how many of them swore to never send me another tac and how they would react if they knew which player they were sending them to. (I hope it is better than you are acting Wolfshield, despite them finding out by reading this) I got to watch the Hydra war progress in great detail, something I greatly enjoyed when I was in Revelation. Of course, we all know how the BHMA backstabbed Aybabtu and in the process lied to sworn friends just the week prior. And tried to make a traitor out of Mercenary in the process, as they had done against his will during their war with the Stompers.

Just recently Aybabtu talked about offering Zildjian membership. My perverse sense of humor got the best of me, so I asked that they all say, "yes" before I even decide. My perverse sense of humor didn't get the best of me when I thought to goad them on how long it took Gimli to get membership and how many blackball votes he suffered. After I received unanimous approval, neither did I gloat and tell them my original membership is still valid since none of them thought to tell me it was cancelled. That would have been Sidhe talking, and as I've said, this isn't Sidhe. I probably would have gotten access to the web site again too, if you hadn't insisted on making an issue of this Wolfshield. As Zildjian, I've yet to accept membership, knowing that I needed to let them know whom they were dealing with as a player and allowing them the chance to vote again.

So clans of the sphere, you now have an account of how I've handled myself while playing the role of Zildjian. Look back over the last 3 months and think of when you have dealt with me in the game. Has it been all that different? Wolfshield is the first person to question me about it, and he had RL knowledge to give him a clue. Nobody has said boo about it since his public statement to me privately or otherwise. Wolfshield, you have taken on new roles within the confines of your clan. Surely you remember your epic about the time when you joined Genesis and wrote dispatches about how with new leaders everything has changed. There you role-played with one clan, here I have role-played with two, is that such a stretch?

However, I'm willing to be accountable to just Wolfshield and his opinion. When Zildjian enters orders for turn 653, he will be down to 3 credits. These will be the last of the credits that were prepaid before I assumed the regency of Zildjian. Wolfshield, I want you to ignore whatever in game benefit my staying or leaving would have. I also would like for you to forgive the difference in titan styles, all actors have their limitations and mine is that I simply do not fight effectively in a stand up slugfest, unlike my predecessor.

As a player speaking to another player: If after reading this you feel that I as a player have no redeeming value in the game and have grossly misplayed the role of Zildjian, I will allow the credits to run out and then destruct the clan. All you have to do is tell the sphere via the War Cry your decision before the last day of credits.

Christopher Waltner
AKA: Yves, Sidhe & Zildjian