Brassed off Monkey

Bac Ho asked me what I would do if he got his revenge via unconventional means. I said I would look favourably upon him, for he was a victim of out of game shenanigans... as it happened he was way more unconventional that I ever dreamed he could be.....

Brassed Off Monkey

The bright light faded and Hanuman was alone. The cold darkness of the shadows was far from comforting but it was preferable to the painful sunlight in which the living roamed. Disoriented, Hanuman caught glimpses of his former life. StomperLand overrun by serpents with only a valiant Zildjian left defending Aries Rock. Sidhe's Hall lynched and the fae departing to another world. Bac Ho fast breeders slaughtered by relentless GimpCO and Hydra forces. The Stompers disbanded. Hanuman fled deeper into the darkness screaming in pain.

Timidly Hanuman returned to the border between night and day. As he watched, invisible to the outside world, Bac Ho Elders received emissaries from Hydra, peace was settled.

"What?", thought a confused Hanuman

Diplomats from the GimpCO arrived, a ceasefire was agreed to.

"This can't be right?!", pondered an upset Hanuman

Hanuman flinched as a Mercenary messenger was greeted warmly by the Bac Ho Council of Elders.

"NOOOOOOO!!!!!", screamed Hanuman.

The Head Elder jolted upright, drew his gun and fired. The Mercenary messenger lay dead on the floor. Hanuman cackled, he had more than just influence... he had something a Bac Ho Hall had never possessed before. Hanuman had absolute power, total control of the clan.

In the darkness Monkey stays Sees the living, and their strange ways Bone for drumstick Skull for drum, Dum ditty dum ditty Dum Dum Dum In the shadows Monkey waits Watches titans watches gates Out of sight Monkey hears "Peace with GimpCO" Fights back tears "Peace with Hydra Covers ears Rent Boy tries to make peace as well, Monkey cries "No way in Hell!!"

Dum ditty, dum ditty, dum dee doo Hanuman steps from out of The Blue "Hello Rent Boy" "What the ....!" thwock thwock thwock thwock thwuck thwuck thwuck Pots, pans, bottles and an old brass spittoon Monkey goes wild with Harlequin's spoon Rent Boy sees his end is near, pitifully pleads to God's kind ear.

Preparations for war took longer than expected, but if there was one thing Hanuman was determined to learn from the conquering Hydra it was the art of patience. Mercenary held a formidable fortress and the approach needed careful planning. A northern army of Bac Ho and Zildjian battled Mercenary outer guards. This was a mere decoy to draw focus away from the brunt of the attack, Bac Ho and Ratsgut building up NE and SE of Mercenary's home. A southern decoy was also set up to harrass Mercenary, tiny Bac Ho units along with a smattering of brave Tantalus soldiers battled the enemy's much larger units and again drew focus away from the main assault force assembling further east.

The northern decoy, even without the help of Zildjian (who decided Hydra were more deserving of his attention), gained ascendancy and charged south. They were joined the next day by the charge of the NE assault. Mercenary had formidable firepower on his mountain but he was obviously shaken. Ratsgut had monstrous titans, and Bac Ho miniatures skitted between them throwing the enemy into disarray. The Ratsgut monsters destroyed everything in their path, the lighter units flew forth undeterred by the defence's fire, they had a specific target in mind. Each wave of attack advanced further that the one before it. The time was right. Hanuman stepped out of the Blue and back into reality.

The Bac Ho/Ratsgut forces let out a huge cheer as Hanuman appeared on Mercenary's mountain perimeter, and with a massive boost in morale the SE forces charged. The opposition Hall was out of sight but Hanuman knew where it was, however, even with 25 Wt 104 guns he'd not be able to do much more than scratch the surface. Instead he fired upon the hugely experienced shieldless artillery and watched them collapse under his barrage. Hanuman fell back into the darkness under a hail of shells.

A little wet birdie sought refuge from the rain, and encountered Hanuman in the shadows. "Mercenary's Hall is in flight mode", said the terrified bird (six weeks of decomposition had not done much for Hanuman's appearance), then it fluttered back into the safety of the light and the rain.

Hanuman greeted this news with laughter and prepared for his next appearance into the world of the living. Only celestial intervention stopped Mercenary's certain and immediate downfall:

"No Hall may shoot another!", decreed God.

Though shackled, Hanuman undeterred stepped from the Shadows without guns and immediately spawned a son. This Zombie damaged the fleeing Hall, but before the main assault could arrive to finish the job, Mercenary escaped into the safety of Aybabtu territory.

Hanuman chuckles, Rent Boy in a rage, God throws monkey in a cage. Monkey bellow Monkey shout, "God don't do this Let me out!!" Desperate Monkey, Drops his drum, "God look, no ditty No dum ditty dum" God sighs and opens door, Monkey in the shadows once more

Shots rain down and Monkey wanes, then from the Shadows, he comes again. Spawns a Zombie with steel drums, Ding dong ding dong Rent Boy runs. More shots come, and Monkey dies, then out of Nowhere Hanuman cries: "Hello Rent Boy, you look sore. Here's another Zombie to hurt you more". Rent Boy uses all his charm, flees to Abba's waiting arms. Rent Boy loves their warm embrace. No worries mate, Ape's on the case. Hanuman fires on Aybabtu gate, wonders if they'll get irate. God gives Rent Boy second door, Monkey cursed by heavens once more. Rent Boy fly Rent Boy flee Away from Monkey Rent Boy free

Mercenary headed for an Aybabtu gate desperately seeking a means of total escape from the onslaught . Hanuman appeared from the Darkness and destroyed the gate. Aybabtu were not amused. They ripped into the incoming Bac Ho/Ratsgut masses,and spat on Hanuman with a vileness that cannot be repeated. The luck of the Gods was with Mercenary, and the gate immediately reformed a little deeper inside Aybabtu territory, the damaged Bac Ho raiders made it to this gate and quickly removed it from the sphere, but not quickly enough... Mercenary's Hall had escaped to safety. The war was over.

A despondent Hanuman retreated to the shadows and roamed the sphere. He returned to his birthplace of StomperLand, now completely under the control of the snakes. War had been exhilarating but there was no denying the pain of the defeat by Hydra. They had stolen his homeland, driven him to his death, and shattered his Clan's alliance. Hanuman left this unhappy home and wandered aimlessly back south. He found himself again back at Mercenary's mountain. This once formidable fortress now lay abandoned by its former owner. It was overrun by Bac Ho, Ratsgut and Aybabtu interlopers. Desecrated, destroyed, defeated. Hanuman reflected on the fate of the Mercenary Hall hidden, cowering in shadows of its own, and smiled. He had not destroyed the Hall, but he had destroyed the home. Having secured a victory in the name of the disbanded Stompers, Hanuman farewelled his good friend da Chief and stepped into the light. away from the realm of the Undead, and into the kingdom of the Immortals.

Hanuman steps out of the Night Hand of God pulls ape to the light Hand, hand fingers, thumb Dum ditty, dum ditty Dum dum dum

Thank you again Hanuman. I rounded off you last worthy dispatch by wondering if you would lose your hall again, and you have, but this time by your own hand, and it almost took another with it!